The Top 10 Tips for Communicating with Children

Most people have more training before they receive their driver’s license than before they become a parent. Educating yourself on how to communicate effectively with your child can be the key to achieving your parenting goals. If you do not have children of your own, these 10 tips can help you whenever you are around children.

Draw children out to speak about the things on their minds.

You can ‘prime the pump’ by talking with them about their favorite foods, toys, movies, video games, etc.

Verbally reflect the emotions of a child before giving in to your need to teach them something.

Parents are constantly making the error of educating their child when their child expresses pain. “I hate my nose” is often responded to with, “you have a perfectly good nose” and the child is left to feel all alone with what could become an enormous problem for them in years to come.

Teach your child to wait instead of interrupting your conversations.

One technique is to teach your children to lightly touch your arm and to wait peacefully and quietly to be acknowledged by you. Children who interrupt miss a chance to learn to control their impulses and can upset the flow of an

adult’s conversation.

Play little games whenever you see children.

For example, you could put something such as a coin in a hand behind your back and ask the child to guess which hand it is in. This is a way to build a strong connection with a child and make a child feel honored.

Lower yourself physically to a child’s level by sitting down, bending down, or sitting on the floor.

It may have been months since any adult has joined the child on their own level.

Hold and play with a child’s toys or trinkets.

Play is the language of a child. If you stop for even thirty seconds to draw a picture alongside of a child who is coloring, you could become one of their heroes.

Tell short stories to children.

Make the stories up or pull them from your own childhood. Stories can be used to build a connection, to teach a lesson, or just to leave a child feeling better than when the conversation began.

Follow up on the promises that you make to children with action.

Children are usually more hurt than adults by broken promises. Ironically, many people treat their promises to children as less important than their promises to adults.

Sacrifice some of your time to interact with children and to focus on them 100%.

Most adults do not interact with children who are present because the children are not able to meet their needs the way that an adult can. Five minutes invested in the life of a child will pay dividends that an hour invested in the life of an adult may not.

Master the art of Socratic questioning.

This means that instead of expressing facts or lecturing that you ask a question to stimulate the child’s own reasoning process. Socratic questioning opens up a place in a person’s mind for the answer to be remembered. For example, you could ask, “How do you think we could take better care of the puppy?” instead of telling your child what to do.

About The Author

This piece was written by Dr. Clare Albright, Psychologist and Parenting Coach, and author of “100 Tips for Parents of Two Year Olds”

Living With Children

If in a fifty-employee workplace, several employees are misbehaving, one can reasonably assume that the problem lies with the employees. On the other hand, if half of the employees are misbehaving, the only conclusion to draw is that the problem lies with management.

I travel the USA eight months a year talking to a variety of parent, teacher, and professional groups. I probably talk face-to face with more parents about parenting issues than anyone else in my somewhat peculiar profession. From all that I gather, it is most likely conservative to venture that half of America's children are misbehaving in significant ways and frequently so. Today's children are also doing things that would have been unimaginable to parents who accomplished most of their child rearing before the psychological parenting revolution of the 1960s. Case in point: the "hidden" epidemic of children above age 3 who are hitting their parents (especially their mothers) on a regular basis. It's time for American parents to face up to the fact that the problem does not lie within their children in the form of unusually strong wills or genes and biochemical imbalances but rather with management. The evidence supports no other conclusion.

Whether in the workplace or the home, if the problem lies with management, then the issue is leadership, or a serious dysf unction therein. Since the principles of effective leadership do not change from situation to situation, the question becomes: Are today's parents acting in ways consistent with established leadership principles? That's the question I've been posing to my parent audiences of late. I will ask an audience, "Do effective leaders talk a lot?" The answer is a resounding no. Then, "Do today's parents tend to talk a lot?" to which I obtain a resounding yes.

"Do effective leaders explain themselves a lot?" No. "Do today's parents explain themselves a lot?" Yes. I then point out that politicians, who do not generally make good leaders, talk and explain themselves a lot in an attempt to persuade and garner approval. Leaders just tell it like it is. Obviously, this is a generation of politician-parents.

"Do effective leaders become highly involved with the people they are charged with leading? Do they enter into intimate relationships with them?" No. Effective leaders understand that there must be a boundary between themselves and the people they lead. That boundary distinguishes them. It causes the led to look up, respect, admire. "Are today's parents highly involved and often found in intimate relationships with their kids?" Yes. The fact is that in most American families, the parent-child relationship is more active than the husband-wife relationship. As is often heard here in the South, "That jus' ain't raat." In all fairness, one cannot blame parents for the fact that there is no boundary between themselves and their kids. After all, the eradication of a parent-child boundary is exactly what most of the pundits have encouraged. Today's parents are even encouraged to believe that the marital bed should not be a boundary. (Please don't misunderstand me on this point. The parent-child boundary should be permeable, and moreso when a child is very young, but the boundary's permeability should always be controlled by the parent.)

"Do leaders say exactly what they mean and mean exactly what they say?" Yes. "Is this generally true of today's parents?" No. (At this point, I feel the need to reiterate that the people answering these questions are parents.)

I ask, "Are leaders always found at the center of attention in any organization?" Yes. "Who is at the center of attention in today's typical family?" Children. FACT: You cannot lead from anyplace other than the center. FACT: You cannot effectively lead someone who is at the center of your attention. FACT: A child will not pay sufficient attention to a parent who believes that good parenting is about paying as much attention as possible to the child. FACT: Today's parents have been led to believe exactly that.

The bad news is that homebased leadership deficiency disorder (LDD) is ubiquitous. The good news is that parents who are willing to emerge from denial and accept that whatever problems they are having with their kids are problems they have created are well on the way to solving those problems. Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions on his website at www.rosemond.com.

John K. Rosemond
www.sheridancountyjournalstar.com

Five Things Every Parent Should Beware of

Every parents encounter certain challenges in parenthood,some or many of which result from not taking note of some key issues that has the capacity to hinder successful parenting. The following five points have been identified as having the ability to cause persistent headache in parenting.

Depression:
Depression primarily refers to a state of mind that is purely negative, with an inclination to insufficiency and a hopeless lack of interest to do things.Coping with depression is possible without professional help if one knows depression management.

Getting Organized:
Parenting is a responsibility that is different from every other kind of duty or job. There will be a lot of changes and challenges, and getting organized is a priority that can not be substituted for any other.

Procrastination:
Procrastination is the biggest reason for loss of productivity and late output. Though many would not admit it, they would benefit greatly if they start their work on time.

Stress:
Anything taken too much is bad for the health. A little stress is actually good, as it could serve to help you function at your best. However, stress that seems a little too much could take a physical, as well as mental, toll to your body. Stress should be managed in order for depression or anxiety to be prevented.

Time Management:
Time management is about getting results, not about being busy.Having a balanced life-style should be the key result in having personal time management. Time management is basically about being focused. The Pareto Principle also known as the '80:20 Rule' states that 80% of efforts that are not time managed or unfocused generates only 20% of the desired output. However, 80% of the desired output can be generated using only 20% of a well time managed effort. Although the ratio '80:20' is only arbitrary, it is used to put emphasis on how much is lost or how much can be gained with time management.

Ilori Olalekan

Six Challenges of Parenting

Ever thought of parenting as a pleasure? Or have you ever thought of it as a hell of experience that a to-be father and mother must pass through? Though this might have been found as true, facing these challenges can be aided with someone been able to identify them ahead of time.

A parent that has been able to identify these challenges often go through parenting with much pleasure than pain as compared with parents that have no idea of any challenge that may come with parenting. Some of these parenting challenges come spontaneously while some can be foreseen and forestalled. While some of these Challenges come as a result of negligence and ignorance on part of both parents and grand parents many of these parenting challenges are unavoidable and unforeseeable.

The following challenge consists of both the ones that can be avoided or prepared for and the ones that may be sudden.

1. The Challenge of Pregnancy stress demands. Most parents(male) do not get themselves educated on the psychological and physical changes that the woman will go through during pregnancy. Such includes Swollen parts of the body, unusual demand for food, restlessness,...e.t.c. These challenge can be foreseen and prepared for by reading up books on parenting/pregnancy or joining parenting website membership sites

2. The challenge of delivery/labour pains. Many intending parents are ignorant of the pains, stress and troubles that often accompany delivery. Labour/Delivery lessons should be taken from a good counselor. Options of Cesarean section can be sought if need be. The parent(male) should get familiar with the demands of a woman in labour .

3.The challenge of Baby's feeding habit. These challenge can not be forseen,and may not be predictable. However some parents do have the challenge of the baby not feeding properly. The help of a medical practitioner will be needed if case arises.

4. The challenge of Poor Growth. These challenge also fall into the categories of those that can not be predicted. Whether a baby will grow fast or not cannot be determined before the baby is born or while the parents are growing up. However in cases where this occurs help can be sought from medical practitioners or advice sought from parents who have had similar experiences. Belonging to parenting membership sites can provide one with opportunity of meeting such parents.

5. The challenge of Low intelligent Quotient. These is another challenge that can't be predicted. the level of intelligence of the parent's baby in question,though can be influenced but can not be ultimately determined by the parents preparation. Several things can be done before birth to affect the baby's level of intelligence like, nutrition, mind exercise, exposing the pregnant parent(mother) to certain audio or video resources, e.t.c. However unpredictable this challenge might be, there are certain helps that can be done after the baby is born. Increasing the child genius by subscribing for services offered professionals can help along way in doing this.

6. The challenge of Baby-sitting. Babysitting has turned out to be a challenge faced by parents, especially first timer parents(parents just having their first baby). However this challenge can be foreseen and avoided by employing the services of a baby sitter or nanny. Parents also can get themselves familiar with this exercise before their baby arrives.

These is the final challenge that will be mentioned in this write up. Further challenges and solutions can be discovered with solutions also known by sharing experiences with other parents.

Ilori olalekan

Seven things every parent should know

Seven things every parent should know

What do you know about your teenager? Teens world sometimes get very complex and difficult to understand.Several changes occurs in children as they grow from been kids into teens and what we know about our children often determine how well our relationship goes with them. Amongst the so many things we need to know a few of them are essential in helping us getting out of their faces into their hearts. The following seven points are just few among the several important things we need to know about our children and especially teenagers.

1. Know what kind of parent you want to be. This has been referred to as
parental reflection, it reveals why or what are the driving forces of your
behaviour as a parent. Fear, failure and disappointments can be great obstacles to genuine parental reflection.
Parents who don’t reflect often experience no growth or improvement in their
relationship with their children, responses to their children based on their
parental needs, emotional distance from these kids.

2. Know how your teenager perceives the world around them. To succeed in
doing this, parents must understand changes their kids and teens are going
through. These changes in them also changes what the world around them
expects from them.

3. Know changes expected from your teens by world around them as they grow. Changes in appearance, thought pattern, and relationships with others around
them.

4. Know the changes your teens see in the world own around. These includes
changes in their understanding of what is called reality, changes in how things
can turn out to be or what life may bring their way and how they can survive
them.

5. Know how changes in world around affect children. These changes around
often affect their self confidence, steadiness and feeling of been secured.

6. Know that there are certain unseen forces that move teens into action.
Teen's action though highly unfathomable are influenced by certain guiding
principles, fundamental beliefs, and past experiences.

7. Know that changes that are emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual in
children may cause a gradual separation & distance between children and
parents. Though these changes appear to be natural they are alarming to parents.

Ilori Olalekan

Short Tips for keeping Your teens and kids out of trouble

Having a good relationship with their parents is one of the most important factors in keeping teens out of trouble.

With teenagers it is important to listen and be flexible. Find out what the kids would like to do and eat and plan accordingly. While even teenagers need boundaries, it is important for parents to try to avoid needless confrontation. Explain why you make the decisions you do and show them positive attention.


Sometimes it works well for a teenager to take a special friend along on family holidays. While this might increase the parents' load, the teen is likely to really appreciate it. Also, sometimes it works well for kids to go on holidays with their grandparents instead of their parents. Sometimes there is a special relationship here that can help kids open up and communicate about their concerns.


If teens are uncooperative or behave improperly, try to deal with the problem in private. Teens are very aware of embarrassmant and it is needlessly mean to exploit this sensitivity.

Ilori Olalekan

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Dealing With Stress

Parenting is often accompanied with stress. It comes in various proportions with the different stages a parent pass through while parenting, then, why bother about stress?

Anything taken too much is bad for the health. A little stress is actually good, as it could serve to help you function at your best. However, stress that seems a little too much could take a physical, as well as mental, toll to your body. Stress should be managed in order for depression or anxiety to be prevented.

So how should you do it then? The following are tips and advice to help manage stress.

Write it out, schedule it out.

It is best to write down everything that seems to be overwhelming. You will find a things-to-do-list much easier to manage than having errands all crumpled up in your head. Writing down the tasks, and putting a specific schedule and time to do them, helps anyone manage activities one chunk at a time. Crossing out an activity that has already been accomplished is very rewarding and could actually help you feel more relaxed when doing the other tasks at hand.

One at a time works.

Focus and put all your attention specifically on one task at one time. It does not help to feel panicky about the other undone or to-do tasks. Thinking about them only adds unnecessary stress and could even hamper in doing the task you are attempting to accomplish at present.

Relax and take it slow.

At least, try not to expend too much energy on activities that are currently not priorities. This is in order for your energy to be not easily expended on the tasks that are not that important, at least for now.

Delegate, delegate, delegate.

You need not do everything all at once, and you need not do everything on your own. Ask for help, get help, or pay for help. When there is a feeling of being overwhelmed that is cropping up, hire someone to mow the lawn or get a sitter for your children. The feeling of being pressed to finish something on time will somehow be eliminated if tasks are delegated. It takes a load off unnecessary worry and anxiety. Moreover, it is easier checking up on how things are, than worrying yourself sick doing everything on your own, all at once.

Give yourself a reward.

You deserve it. Acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how big or small, is an effort that is necessary before getting on to the next tasks and activities. It reduces stress and could even make you happier in doing the next task.

Give yourself a break.

You need it to be more productive. A ten to fifteen minute break during your work is necessary. Go visit a café nearby, take a quick brisk walk, or do anything to put your mind off work, at least for a while. This is necessary to refresh and recharge. Believe it or not, you can also stay in your work and sit with your eyes closed as you visualize a peaceful landscape or a relaxing scene. This frees the stress from your muscles and your mind.

Relax and be cool. Doing so makes you healthier, happier, and a lot more productive

Ilori Olalekan

Parenting: Obesity In Children

Obesity, generally defined in children having a body mass at or above 85th percentile for age and sex, has been reported as the chief nutritional problem in the United States among all age groups. Obesity occurs when people consume more calories than they expend as energy, and the excess calories are stored as fat.
This imbalance in nutrition is a reflection of an interplay of cultural, physical and psychological factors. Individual eating habits which often follow patterns set in a particular household/home, this also is affected by standards set by the culture at large. (Leibel,1997;A Stunkard et al 1990).

Certain parents may have underfed their babies because of a belief that overfeeding infants is likely to lead to obesity in later life.
Two factors that have appeared to strongly influence the chances that in obese child will grow up to been obese adults are; The age of the child and whether or not the parents of the child are obese. Obesity at age 6 was found to have no relationship with obesity at age 16, after age 6 obese children were increasingly likely to become obese adults(Roche, 1987).

Studies in the state of Washington shows that obese children under age 3 who did not have an obese parent were unlikely to grow up to be obese, but among children above that age, obesity in childhood was an increasingly important predictor of adult obesity. Having an obese parent more than doubled the risk that a child under age 10 would be obese in adulthood, whether or not the child was currently obese(Whitaker, Wright, Pepe, Siedel & Dietz,1997).

Even though there is no evidence that obesity hurt babies, 1 or 2 year olds who has an obese parent should be a candidate for prevention efforts. Factors such as rich diet & poor exercising may be considered.
However the Ideal time to treat obesity in children is between 3 and 9 years of age, when its more likely that the condition if left untreated will persist and when parents still have a strong influence on child diet and activities. (Whitaker,et al,1997).

The best thing a parent can do for now to avoid obesity in themselves and in their children is to adopt a more active lifestyle for their entire family.

For help and guidance on Checking Obesity and Nutritional flaws in your family/home visit: www.o2maxfitness.com

Ilori Olalekan
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NB: Prior to use of this article by anyone or for further inquiry endeavour to contact the author.

Parenting Your Teens: Dealing with Child Nutrition and Fitness

Child Nutrition and fitness is an essential issue to take note of in child growth. A child's responsiveness and activeness is directly tied to his physical capacity. Size,weight and physical built are worthy of note factors that affect a childs development.

Take a quick look at below information.

ABOUT O2 MAX

O2 MAX does fitness training and nutrition counseling exclusively for teens. Next month they will open their first ‘fitness

hub’ at the Spectrum Club in Manhattan Beach, a pioneering break-thru at the adults-only facility. O2 MAX @ Spectrum

will be a “third space” destination for teens that combines fitness with key elements in their daily lives – music,

technology and social networking. In addition there will be a homework Lounge and onsite tutoring by The Princeton

Review. To learn more, visit the O2 MAX homepage at http://www.o2maxfitness.com.

ABOUT ASSEMBLIES IN MOTION

Assemblies In Motion is a non-profit 501(c)3 organization dedicated to developing positive life skills and self-expression

in at-risk youth through writing and performance programs that enhance academics, self-confidence and tolerance for

diversity. To learn more visit the Assembles in Motion at http://www.hearteducation.org.

“O2 MAX and ASSEMBLIES IN MOTION PRESENT 2nd ANNUAL ENERGY ROCKS!”

Free music and fitness festival to inspire L.A. teens to get healthy and stomp out youth

obesity. Alyssa Milano serves as Honorary Chair.

NEWS FACTS

• The 2nd Annual ENERGY ROCKS! spectacular, presented by O2 MAX and Assemblies in Motion,

will kickoff in the Front Lawn of the Beverly Hills High School in Los Angeles, California at 12:00

PM on Sunday, September 30, 2007.

• Teen fitness experts, O2 MAX in conjunction with Assemblies in Motion, a non-profit program for at-risk youth,

founded ENERGY ROCKS! in an effort to combat teen obesity.

• ENERGY ROCKS! will feature live music, Hoop Masters Basketball, competitions, prizes, a 1-mile Run-to-Rock,

NIKE Trial Van (to demo Nike foot wear and iPod accessories) AYSO soccer clinics, Polar Heart Rate monitor

demos, The Princeton Review health-related trivia, obstacle course, Budokon, workouts, free nutrition and

skincare consultations, prizes and giveaways.

• Participating companies and sponsors include Nike, Neutrogena, Polar, FUZE beverages, Naked Juice, E!

Networks, LARABAR, Scratch DJ Academy, American Apparel and The Princeton Review.

• After a successful first run last year, O2 MAX and Assemblies in Motion have partnered together for a second

year to continue to spread their message of teen fitness and a healthy lifestyle in a light that is favorable to

teens.

CONTACT INFORMATION

Karen Jashinsky (Founder + CEO, O2 MAX) Pam Goldman (Media Contact)

310.927.7526 917.863.4092

kj@o2maxfitness.com

pam@o2fitnessmax.com

Ilori Olalekan

Parent Fatigue Syndrome - What it Looks Like and How to Overcome It

“At work, you think of the children you have left at home. At home, you think of the work you've left unfinished. Such a struggle is unleashed within yourself. Your heart is rent.” – Golda Meir

On any given day of the week do you feel like you are in either a) battle zone, b) the twilight zone, c) the Crazy zone, or d) all the above?

Do you have so many things coming at you that you feel like a walking dart board?

Does your mind often feel scattered and asking “Is this what I signed up for?”

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then I’d take a guess you are a parent. Parenting can not only be time consuming, but exhausting physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is what I call Parent Fatigue Syndrome. Even the most seasoned parents will experience PFS from time to time. The solution is recognizing its severity and knowing what to do about it.

Mild Parent Fatigue Syndrome

For most parents, the feelings of PFS will begin on Friday afternoon, usually the drive home from work. It has been a long week, you are feeling tired. You wish you had some time to yourself. There may be some family obligations you have to attend, but you are still looking forward to spending time with your children because you know the outcome will be relaxing and refreshing.

What to do: Have some “down time” with your family. Order pizza and rent a movie. Play some games. Chances are your family needs some down time also. Visit o2maxfitness hubs.

Moderate Parent Fatigue Syndrome

Parents experiencing moderate symptoms will have more intense feelings of frustration or even anxiety. Sometimes these feelings may start earlier in the week. After work you just want to go home, eat and have some alone time. You can still muster up some time to spend with your children, but it can feel like a chore. You may begin to find other reasons not to be at home: working late, spending more time on hobbies or holing up in your room watching TV.

What to do: Begin to carve out some alone time for yourself. Communicate to your spouse about your feelings. He/she may not even be aware that you are experiencing these feelings. Change your perspective: At lunch time, write down everything you like about each of your children. Then when you get home, tell them your feelings.

Severe Parent Fatigue Syndrome

Parents with severe symptoms of PFS will have been experiencing stronger emotions for a greater period of time. Their feelings of frustration have grown into resentment, depression or even apathy. They have lost their joy of spending time with their children. Or they may also say things they don’t mean at the expense of their children.

What to do: If you are experiencing these symptoms, then I encourage you to find a professional counsellor to talk to about these feelings. If left unchecked, it may have negative consequences to the relationship you have with your children and other family relationships.

Parent Fatigue Syndrome is common to every parent. Yet, the important thing is to respond to our feelings so that our parenting relationship remains intact, and is fun.

Are you looking for more common sense advice, practical solutions and even humor for parenting your teen? I invite you to check out http://www.parentingyourteenager.com where you will find tips for parenting teens, school, curfew, and more! For advice on how to help teens avoid the epidemic of obesity and ill-nutrition http://www.o2maxfitness.com

Terre Grable is a licensed professional counsellor. She enjoys helping parents and teens become better friends when they feel like enemies.

Ilori Olalekan
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The Powers of a Positive Attitude

One of the keys to succeeding in parenting is having a positive attitude, a positive attitude is a key to having a good success in anything you do in life. I'm making this post on positive attitude to enlighten us on some truths we need to know about positive attitude.

I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let's say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here's another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn't end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what's not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

Ilori Olalekan

How to Bring Up Your Children Properly

How to Bring Up Your Children Properly

Childhood years are the best times to learn. Somehow, a person’s comprehension is at its peak during childhood. Parents should take advantage of these learning years to ingrain the values of life in their children.

If you’re a parent, teach them positive habits so that they will know and see the beauty that life has to offer. Make them enthusiastic about life. Instill into their hearts and minds all the wonders and magnificence of being alive by living life to its fullest in a positive way.

There’s a startling difference between children learning through self-discovery, and children learning through self-discovery with proper guidance. The first things that children learn are usually the things that stay with them and mold formative years until they reach adulthood.

Let us suppose you let your children learn through self-discovery. To a certain extent, self-discovery is good since it develops full independence and self-reliance. However, the learning process might be slow. In a sense, it is like a trial and error experience for children. They have to segregate the good from the bad, the right from the wrong, what they like and what they don’t. It is most likely that what they will like are the ones that come easy to them or the ones that they enjoy the most. And the ones that they enjoy the most might not necessarily be the good ones. Without proper guidance, what they like and enjoy the most might actually be hurting them although they are not aware of it. Perhaps later, if they find out that they picked the wrong choices, it may be too late.

With self-discovery through proper guidance, you will be able to leave room for them to develop independence and self-reliance. At the same time, show them what is right and what is wrong. Explain to them why. If possible, cite instances or examples based on true-to-life events to make them more convincing and realistic. The more realistic they are, the more easily the children are convinced. Likewise, try teaching them in a friendly and humorous atmosphere. Children are more attentive and eager to learn when all (both teachers and students) are in an easy mood. You will know and feel their eagerness to learn through the sparkle in their eyes and by the way they answer your questions. You can be sure that what they learn from you is acceptable to them and will stay with them. That is why, as a parent, you must show enthusiasm in life to your children.

There’s a third method of making children learn. That is through proper guidance leaving negligible room for self-discovery. But there are drawbacks. You take away from them the benefits of self-reliance and independence. The guidance you devote to them may be good and well intended, but they must not rely on you on almost everything they do. They become decision-dependent on you. There are instances wherein this type of guidance might be worse than giving no guidance at all.

There are parents who underwent hardships during their childhood, strived, and became successful financially. Although they are financially in the position to guide and assist their children to a better life, they prefer that their children undergo the same difficult experience they underwent during their younger years. Their reason: so that their children will value and experience the same things they went through. This may be applicable to stubborn and rebellious youngsters, but not to disciplined ones. Why must their sons and daughters repeat the same difficulties? There’s no reason to. This is like punishing the innocent. Instead of repeating the experience, they should learn from it. Life is too short to repeat unsavory experiences.

One of the best ways to broaden your children’s knowledge about life is by traveling. The world - its varied people, places, and cultures - has a lot of information to offer. It is perhaps as important as the conventional classroom. If you are financially able, traveling is one of the best educational experiences you can give your children. Look for exhibits or world fairs, and take your children there. Books are the next best things. It’s traveling by reading.

Fill your children with thoughts of self-importance, confidence, and positive attitude so that there will be no room for negative thinking. More importantly, fill their world with laughter, love, and understanding. You‘ll never go wrong.

Ilori Olalekan

How To Survive Parenting A Teenager

Aaah, Teenagers! What comedian Jeff Allen describes as God's revenge for humanity: "Let's see how you like it when something you created tells you you don't know anything!" As a counselor, I think the most trying phases of parenting that I have seen are the toddler years and the teen years. So similar in issues - only with bigger bodies. The control of potty training has been replaced by curfew. Instead of sharing their toys, they have to share the family car. Instead of talking kindly to others, they need to talk kindly to you! Here are some tips to keep in mind so you won’t lose yours:
1. You are not alone
Scores of parents of generations past have survived adolescence, and so will you. Perhaps you were the one that gave your parents their mass of gray hair, and shattered nerves. You can see they survived. Strike up a conversation with other parents of teens, and I am sure you will find a lot of common ground.
2. You are not crazy
The one thing that brings the most relief to the parents of teens is when I tell them they are not crazy for their feelings. The inconsistency of teenagers’ decisions, irrational behavior, and sometimes deception can make a parent feel crazy. “Adolescence” is when teens are trying to make “sense” of being an “adult.” The trial and error of it can be confusing for all involved.
3. It is a phase
Parents of teens can often feel like their lives will be, or have been, in chaos forever. This is not true. Just as the toddler years did not last forever, neither will the adolescent years. Even though it may not feel like it now, there have been times that you have already created positive memories your teen will cherish later as an adult. Keep up the good work!
4. Every day can be a do over
Having a challenging day with your teen today? Not quite communicating? Feeling the tug of war with power struggles? The great thing about this season of life is there are new opportunities to start again each day. Or you don’t have to wait until tomorrow; you can start again right now! It is amazing what the power of an apology can do!
5. Maintain a sense of humor
Above everything, maintain a sense of humor. Henry Ward Beecher said it best: A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs – jolted by every pebble in the road. Parenting teens can not only come with pebbles, but with boulders. A humorous perspective can mean the difference between sanity and senility.
6. Do everything to maintain your marital relationship
You love your children, but the first priority is your marriage. Find time to safeguard your relationship to maintain closeness with your spouse. The parenting years will soon be over, but your marriage will last a lifetime. As a counselor, I have seen many couples that feel like they do not know one another anymore because they have allowed parenting to invade upon their marital intimacy.
Whether you are a newbie or an experienced veteran, parenting teens can be challenging. Perspective can provide a sense of relief during the troubled times and perhaps prevent them from becoming overwhelming.
Are you looking for more common sense advice, practical solutions and even humor for parenting your teen? I invite you to check out http://www.parentingyourteenager.com where you will find tips for parenting teens, school, curfew, and more!
Terre Grable is a Christian licensed professional counselor. She enjoys helping parents and teens become better friends when they feel like enemies.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Terre_Grable

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