Dear Carolyn,
My mom's been living alone since my dad died. I'm starting to worry about her. She forgets things and yesterday she forgot to lock the front door. I don't think she's eating some meals, either. Should I put her in a home or is there something else to try?
Signed: Parenting my own Parent
Dear Parenting my own Parent
Having to take care of your own parent is a scary thing. It's especially scary if your mom has been there for you for so many years and now she isn't.
There are a lot of things to consider before a nursing home. A recent study found that living with a partner reduces the risk of Alzheimer's and other dementia diseases by 50%! Widows and widowers who continued to live alone ran the greatest risk; they were six times more apt to show signs of Alzheimer's.
You didn't say how long it's been since your dad died. Has she grieved his loss? Is she ready to move on? If not, you could talk to her about finding a grieving group for her to join. Everybody needs to grieve losses if they want to move on.
If she's grieved, is she ready to find someone to share the rest of her life with? Maybe share the study about how it could reduce her risk of Alzheimer's with her. (See link below).
Maybe she's not ready to go that far, at least not yet. Encourage her to meet people her age, maybe through a religious, social or educational group. If she lives nearby, you could even invite three or four people her age to dinner or to play cards. Do family live near her that could help with this? Get them involved, too.
Here are some other things to consider: Encourage your mom to
* obtain counseling for unresolved grief or trauma
* attend social functions
* engage in intellectually stimulating activities such as doing crossword puzzles, reading, learning a language or other new information
For more about the study, click on:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/07/080731073549.htm
Try some of these ideas and let me know how it goes…
by
Carolyn Chambers Clark
Friday, August 22, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Family Meetings 101
Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and validated. They also allow younger children to feel they are an important part of the decision-making process when it comes to family vacations and other major and minor family functions.
Before the first meeting commences, set a few ground rules such as: Speak in a calm tone. Avoid name-calling, finger-pointing, and sarcasm. Turn off the TV, radio and telephones. Allow each person to voice his or her concerns and ideas. Listen to all opinions before making a decision. If a person voices a complaint, they must also bring to the table at least one possible remedy to the situation.
Locations for future family meetings may also be brainstormed at the first meeting. Here are a few examples: Circle Time Very simply, sit on the floor together, in a circle. Designate an object as a "talking token". This can be a small stuffed animal, a necklace to be worn, a hat, or any other item that will be passed around. Whoever holds the talking token may speak.
Once they are finished, they must pass the token to the next person. Restaurant Rendezvous Take turns choosing a favorite restaurant to host your family meetings.
For this option, choose an afternoon or evening in the middle of the week, or at off-peak times, to avoid heavy crowds. End the meeting before dessert arrives, so everyone can indulge their sweet tooth happily.
Hobby Haven I know of several families who hold their meetings at places that cater to their favorite hobbies. For instance, one family conducts their meeting at a bowling alley. Once the meeting is over, they enjoy bowling together. Another family combines their gathering with their love of books, by meeting at a café ©n their favorite bookstore.
And yet another family I know holds their weekly meeting after a joyful round of put-put golf. This option combines family communication and fun. However, and wherever, your family decides to host the meetings, remember this all-important point: Always end each meeting with a hug!
Thanks Article From : Deborah Shelton
Deborah Shelton edits The Five Minute Parent email newsletter.
For your free subscription,
send a blank email to mailto:Five_Minute_Parent-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
or
visit http://www.fiveminuteparent.com www.fiveminuteparent.com deborah@fiveminuteparent.com
Before the first meeting commences, set a few ground rules such as: Speak in a calm tone. Avoid name-calling, finger-pointing, and sarcasm. Turn off the TV, radio and telephones. Allow each person to voice his or her concerns and ideas. Listen to all opinions before making a decision. If a person voices a complaint, they must also bring to the table at least one possible remedy to the situation.
Locations for future family meetings may also be brainstormed at the first meeting. Here are a few examples: Circle Time Very simply, sit on the floor together, in a circle. Designate an object as a "talking token". This can be a small stuffed animal, a necklace to be worn, a hat, or any other item that will be passed around. Whoever holds the talking token may speak.
Once they are finished, they must pass the token to the next person. Restaurant Rendezvous Take turns choosing a favorite restaurant to host your family meetings.
For this option, choose an afternoon or evening in the middle of the week, or at off-peak times, to avoid heavy crowds. End the meeting before dessert arrives, so everyone can indulge their sweet tooth happily.
Hobby Haven I know of several families who hold their meetings at places that cater to their favorite hobbies. For instance, one family conducts their meeting at a bowling alley. Once the meeting is over, they enjoy bowling together. Another family combines their gathering with their love of books, by meeting at a café ©n their favorite bookstore.
And yet another family I know holds their weekly meeting after a joyful round of put-put golf. This option combines family communication and fun. However, and wherever, your family decides to host the meetings, remember this all-important point: Always end each meeting with a hug!
Thanks Article From : Deborah Shelton
Deborah Shelton edits The Five Minute Parent email newsletter.
For your free subscription,
send a blank email to mailto:Five_Minute_Parent-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
or
visit http://www.fiveminuteparent.com www.fiveminuteparent.com deborah@fiveminuteparent.com
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